Emotional Connection For Boys
Boys and Men

Emotional Connection: The Missing Puzzle Piece For Boys And Men

For the past 15 years, I have been passionate about bringing women together in a spirit of friendship, unity, and authentic connection.

For me, this was a divine commission.

Together, women of all ages and in all walks of life have been reminded that we are not meant to walk this life alone, that we were made for connection, that the small things in life are really the big things: eye contact, a friendly smile, a listening ear.

We also discovered the power food has to bring us together. Potluck dinners, lunch dates, and tea parties fed our bodies and nourished our souls.

Surely, few things are as powerful as gathering together around a table.

No words can adequately express how grateful I am for the gift of the past decade.

 

Recently, my focus has shifted slightly from women to men, specifically boys and men and their need for emotional connection.

I feel deeply compelled to learn more about the innate need boys and men have to be listened to and observed, without judgment, so that they know that they are being heard;

to help them develop strong connections with family, friends, teachers, coaches, and other role models; and to encourage them to talk about their feelings.

While women in our society are plagued with isolation, loneliness, and guilt, boys and men are drowning in isolation, loneliness, and shame, seeking happiness in ways taught by the world, the joy and fulfillment for which they ache remaining elusive because they are missing the most vital piece of the puzzle—emotional connection.

 

What can I personally do to encourage healthy emotional connection in the boys and men in my life?

The answer to that question is what I seek, for the natural consequences of emotional connection are breathtaking and life-altering and will plant our feet more firmly on the path they need to be on as we prepare to welcome the Savior for a second time.

It’s time we say “goodbye” to shame, fear, isolation, loneliness, and sin, and “hello” to emotional connection, peace, true happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

It’s time to support the boys and men in our lives in becoming the heroes they were destined to be.

I would be most appreciative if you could help me with my “research” by answering the following question, posting it either in the comments below or in a PM. Thank you!

 

JOIN THE DISCUSSION: Can you tell me a time that someone –a teacher, a coach, or a mentor– made a positive difference for your son, husband, father, brother, or yourself (if you are male)?

 

In addition, it’s time we stop overlooking the positive impact boys and men have on our society. If you’d like, please post a link or share an experience regarding how boys and men are making our world a better place.

 

**Share this post with others through social media. The more experiences we collect and share with one another, the better.

 

**This page contains affiliate links.

RECOMMENDED READING: How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men

Prepare to mark this book up! It has life-changing insights for raising boys. If you have a boy (or a man) in your life, you need to read this!

 

 T-SHIRT: We Can’t All Be Superheroes, But We Can Be Kind (multiple size and color choices)

 

 

Read more about encouraging men to connect emotionally:

Special Time With Boys

Bring Joy To The Brokenhearted

The Joy Of Hospitality: A Reluctant Husband’s Perspective

 

 

Emotional Connection

 

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20 Comments

    • Down Aspen Lane

      Men have the potential to be such a strength for each other. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject, Marva!

  • Deb Wolf

    One of the first times my husband taught a Bible Class as a young Seminary student, he felt like he’d failed terribly. He thought the pastor who normally taught the class was on vacation but this man who was a highly respected pastor and author was sitting quietly in the back of the room.. Rev (what I call my husband) invited the class to join him in a closing prayer and when he opened his eyes – this pastor was standing next to him with his arm around him and huge smile on his face. His words, “isn’t this young man going to make a great pastor?” The group erupted with applause. Rev retired recently after many blessed years in ministry. Oh, what a little encouragement from a caring mentor can do!

    • Down Aspen Lane

      What a powerful example of mentorship. Thank you for sharing such a meaningful experience, Deb! You have a wonderful ministry of your own with your blog. Blessings to you and yours!

  • Rebecca Hastings

    Yes! I love this reminder! God is showing me how to be supportive for my husband and son. (It sure is different than for me and my girls!) But it’s also a sweet gift for them and for me. Reminding me that God loves us all, created us all. The sooner we see that and show that love to one another (boys or girls) the better!

  • Angie B.

    I love this post, because in a day and age when being a man is becoming synonym with “bad”, I find myself frustrated. I grew up in a Hispanic family where my biggest cheerleaders where the men in my family, as the females in my family were concerned with “when will you get married?”. But my father, my biggest champion NEVER let me set limiting thoughts or goals. My uncle Leo was the same way. Now that I am a fulltime stepmomma of two teenage boys I just love, I worry about what the world holds for them, and so, we try to raise them as best as we can. In their case it is interesting because my husband is a good man but he is not the lovey-dovey type. But ever since we got married, the boys have gravitated to me because I think I bring a different connection to them–an emotional one that craves acknowledging and understanding their feelings. So, I am going to order that book. Thank you! And glad I stopped by!

    • Down Aspen Lane

      Wow–thank you so much for sharing your experience on the subject of boys and emotional connection, Angie! From what you’ve shared, I think you’ll love the book as much as I have. It has really been lifechanging for my relationship with my son. Wishing you all the best!

  • Carol

    A pastor wrote a personal note that expressed his appreciation for our son, his participation at church. The note came at time when our son was in the challenging middle school years. To be noticed and appreciated by a pastor that he respected meant so much.
    Your post touches such an important area in our culture. Young men need connection!

  • Damico Brown

    Excited to have found this post. My family is full of girls and I was blessed with two baby boys, and I have no clue how to raise a man. This post definitely gave me a lot of insight.

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Yes, I’m a highly toxic male,
    with fists my go-to answer;
    this would be some tragic tale
    except that I’ve got cancer.
    I fight this every bloody day,
    the puking and the pain,
    and know that it won’t go away;
    on the morrow it begins again.
    There is still something I can give,
    but I have to flog my soul;
    it’s worth saying, “You can live
    even though your life’s not whole.”
    No worries here, no guilt nor shame;
    just a killer, still standin’ in the flame.

    #1 at FMF this week.

  • Silver

    As a mama to four boys, and as a wife, this post is extremely important. It’s so vital to recognize the need for healthy emotional connections.

  • Jennifer Morrison

    This is so very important. I worked really hard to have conversations like this with my boys, and to also find men who were willing to have deep conversations with them. You bring up a lot of good points.

  • Katy LV

    So important. I have a daughter an another on the way but toxic masculinity can affect everyone in the family.

  • Melissa Hoyle

    As a mom to 3 boys, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see this post…As a society, we stifle our boys. We tell them they can’t have emotions and they can’t cry, etc. I was reading the story of Joseph and his brothers awhile back and I have been finding myself chewing the cud of that story ever since-the fact that he went away and wept. And, then I started thinking about all the other stories in the bible where men are pictured displaying emotion.

    It’s so vitally important to allow our boys to have emotions, to be encouraged in their emotions, etc. AND for us parents to ensure we make ourselves emotionally available for our boys. I think, maybe even more so than girls, boys are impacted by emotionally absent parents…they grow up to have drug problems and many other issues.

    As a society we also have completely emasculated our men. In giving women rights we have taken away the rights of our men. They aren’t allowed to hold doors open for us, be chivalous, or cover us as God calls them to do. What does that leave you with? Men that are full of anger and depressed.

    To answer your first question, I remember my neighbor just sitting and spending time with my youngest son and just listening to him. It’s hard to describe how this effected my son’s demeanor, but I do know that when he grows up and he has to list some of the most influential people in his life, my neighbor will be at the top of that list.

    Men are impacting our world in huge ways. If you don’t believe me, just look at what happens to children who grow up with an absent father. The father’s role is so hugely important.

    Please keep sharing! Let’s empower our boys to be the men God calls them to be!

  • Denise

    I love that you are bringing up the healthy emotional connections for both sexes, and are looking closer into how it impacts boys and men. I have seen so many heart inspiring messages in videos recently and I think those do a great job of showing that indeed hero’s show and share their emotions and are stronger for it.

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